Fear disguised as loving advice
Does any of this advice sound familiar to you? Chances are these are some of the things your nearest and dearest would be dispensing to you from time to time. Coming from an Indian family – this is not uncommon. You are likely to be getting all sorts of advice from Aunties, Uncles, cousins, parents, or pretty much everyone older than you. Time to understand how these simple words of “loving advice” can actually be harmful to you. Words that dispense discouragement are nothing more than the unconscious implanting of fear.
The Need to Please Others
As we journey to deconstruct old beliefs, we choose the past programs we want to live by and the past programs we want to keep. But let’s not forget that there is still unconscious implanting of programs that elicit fear into your biology even to this day.
The quality of an empath is their ability to read the emotional well-being of others. If someone is feeling down, an empath would feel inclined to make them feel better. Empaths tend to give much of themselves to others, but, unless we learn to protect our energy, we could end up feeling low and depleted. Giving our power away is something empaths tend to do unconsciously. The need to not upset people could sometimes cause you to give away your power to them. We tend to accept the advice and opinions of others more to please them rather than to help ourselves.
“I’m saying this out of Love.” = “I’m saying this out of Fear.”
As a parent myself, I understand that we are filled with constant fear. Suddenly your own body isn’t the only body you need to protect. We forget that each child, like ourselves, have a life purpose of their own. That purpose is to be their authentic self and to live fearlessly. But unfortunately, that purpose gets crushed under the constant bombardment of fear disguised as love. This power-sucking fear in the name of love gets transferred from one generation to the next. This is the reason why generations in poverty usually stay in poverty or how countries stay at war with one another over centuries and through several generations.
Knowing when someone you love is unconsciously transferring their fears onto you is essential for empaths because, as empaths, we want to help others, and, to do that, we first have to protect ourselves from harmful beliefs. It starts with being acutely aware of when someone is unconsciously taking away your power by implanting their fears onto you.
Speaking to Parents
It applies to me too. Anxiety manifested as a form of control and power over someone else is stifling, and it can restrict a child’s growth to express their true self to the world. By transferring our fears onto our kids, thinking this would protect them when the opposite actually happens, we end up adding burden onto our kids with our insecurities. Let’s lead by example and confront our own insecurities with courage and honesty. Practising self-love in front of our children encourages them to do the same. By doing the work ourselves, we teach our children to feel love, honour, and empowerment to live out their true magnificence. Maybe then we will start to see a shift in the humanity of the world.
Speaking to Kids Young and Old
Honour your family with an understanding that they are not perfect. They are very much trying to navigate through life and want to keep you safe from potential harm. Love them, but know the difference between advice that feels disempowering and one that is empowering – understand that it is coming from a space of fear. Unresolved trauma can often manifest itself as a need to control. They might use current information to trigger your insecurity. A controlling parent will use any tactic to dispense that their feelings towards fear are right – a modern-day hex to enforce invincible bondage. It can be socially, emotionally and spiritually decrementing.
You are a magnificent manifestation of pure love and abundance.
Staying Empowered
Listen to Emotions
Owning up to my emotions made me responsible for them too. Sometimes being human means not being able to control my emotions, and that is ok. In the same way, understand when someone else is having a human moment, and negative emotions can sometimes go unchecked. Learn to listen not just to what a person is saying, but to what they are feeling. You will be able to know if opinions are stemmed from a place of anger, fear, or some other negative place rather than love and gratitude.
Live Life Fearlessly
Do not feel disempowered to ask why you should believe in the information you receive, even when it comes from the people you love. Be understanding but also empowered to question their intentions if you need to. Protecting your stance to a higher awareness might mean shining light onto fear and negativity. I used to avoid upsetting people and confrontation in general, and I wouldn’t question people’s motives for dispensing bad advice or being told what to do. However, when you take the journey to discover self-love, you will never again allow any toxic suggestibility or people to penetrate your energy field.
What Triggers You
Are you aware when information sparks the emotions of fear and anger or when it triggers your body to take caution or react in fear? Being sensitive to emotional triggers and our bodies’ chemical reactions to external information. By using triggers as a tool, we can take a pause before reacting. Choose – should you react with fear or with love? Choosing love is to react with a higher level of awareness.
The Coin Toss
When it comes to empowering ourselves, or even children, to listen to their inner intelligence – guide them on how to go inwards. This coin toss feelings test is a really good trick to connecting to that ‘gut feeling’.
Join us in our journey into ourselves with our meditation sessions at Yoga in the Park. We conduct morning sessions daily from Monday to Friday. Feel free to contact me for more information.