The ups and downs of life has us going inwards especially during these confusing times in a very negative way. But how do we manage really hard emotions like hurt and anguish especially in times of isolation. The ups and downs of life forces us to ask those big questions that we are afraid to face. About our existence, God’s existence or even our purpose on this earth. The BIG Questions. What drives those questions? I like to think all living things have emotions – our pets for example. But only us humans have the capability to think about them – to analyse them.
If we are the only species on this earth capable of thinking through our emotions, why do we make much effort to suppress or to avoid it?
Emotional Distractions
Many of us find it hard facing tough emotions such as sadness, hurt, or guilt. We prefer to avoid or to channel those emotions into more protective driven instincts such as anger and hatred. Some divert their energy into work or working out. I can only imagine these behaviours are driven by our brain it it’s way of protecting us from becoming vulnerable which translates to most of us especially man as – Weak! When it fact it is quite the contrary.
Sitting with your emotions is the hardest of all things to do.
If we are the only species on this earth capable of thinking through our emotions, why do we make much effort to suppress or to avoid it?
I don’t have to tell you about the author/researcher – Berné Brown. She has spent a-lot of her professional career going deep into understanding emotions especially vulnerability. Written a few books about it, my favourite and most popular is Daring Greatly I have highlighted the entirety of this book; insightful and thought provoking. To know more about her please listen to her famous TedTalk here.
Other times, we suppress our emotions with pills, or alcohol or as my preferred suppressant – coffee and tiramisu! Changing the chemical balance of our body to numb our feelings. It doesn’t take the emotion away, it’s just waiting for another opportunity to surface, but we tend to get addicted to the suppressants and that is where it gets dangerous because the longer we prolong facing it, we start to develop a subconscious habit around suppressing which could potentially be health threatening.
Step into the Arena of your Life
As Brené Brown says it clearly the title – ‘Daring Greatly’; it takes courage to face your emotions and I like to add to that – & allow it be felt in your body. Because when we allow the feelings to manifest itself to be felt in the body we can be able to breathe better into it – breathe into the area where it’s felt most and be more present to it, to be in the arena. It takes courage, it take time, sleepless nights, longer days, it takes will power to not let it manifest itself as anger and taken out on others. It has to be dealt with personally and lovingly.
Rethinking Beliefs
Past conditioning tells us that we need to categorise our emotions into categories of either ‘good’ or ‘bad’. How can we overcome something that we have already labeled as bad. Once you label something as bad, you have chosen to fall victim to it. Just by that thought alone, we have surrendered our power to a creation of our own doing. We need to question our beliefs and the conditions of the past. The true purpose of living through suffering is learning to evolve from it. Which means creating a newer version of ourselves. Not an angrier, more hateful, or resentful version. Rather an evolved version.
Feel into your Intention
“Even good decisions made for the wrong reasons can be a bad decision”
I had to recite this quote a hundred times before it sunk in. This is a perfect manifestation to the actions you make in any hard decision. True evolution embodies higher emotional states like love, compassion, forgiveness, kindness, gratitude etc. Question your reason, (unless it is a threat to your safety) are your decisions stemmed from higher emotional states or lower? Be gentle with yourself as healing takes time.
I hope we can come together through these tough times to sit with our emotions and focus on how we can evolve in overcoming the hard stuff, to face those tough questions and handle it in the most loving way. Have faith that this is your purpose and you are on the right track. x